When corporate-speak goes bad
Many big companies and government agencies still make the mistake of trying to write about themselves in ways that, they hope, will make them sound important.
I recently read the following passage – paraphrased to protect the innocent – on the website of one of New Zealand’s leading banks.
“Our mission is to ensure that we consistently deliver the ideal experience to our customers every time they touch us through our channels.”
Touch us through our channels? Say what?
If reading that excerpt makes you feel funny, a bit icky even, you’re not alone. It made me choke on my Gingernut, then chortle, then forward it to fellow word-nerds who all agreed it was a total shocker.
It’s a fantastic example of a corporation trying to come across all customer-focused, failing miserably, and achieving the exact opposite.
How would I have rewritten that passage to avoid the corporate cringe factor? Maybe something like this:
“We want our customers to enjoy fantastic service every time they do business with us.”
Play it straight, keep it simple and your readers will love you for it.